If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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