I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
