The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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