Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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