connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
