So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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