The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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