This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
