Ambien. No doubt about it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
