That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
