Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't turn off my feet"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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