I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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