is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
