i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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