I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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