As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
