the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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