After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
