Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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