Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
