I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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