the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
