So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
