Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
