Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
