OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
