i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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