My liver just broke up with me...
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
