Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
