I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
