You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My nipple is on Facebook.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
