I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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