what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
