Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i think im in europe. pls send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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