Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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