that's an acceptable place to lick
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
