I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
