People in love make me want to vomit
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
