Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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