like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
