You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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