I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
