Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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