I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
