You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
