the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
