i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
