You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
That reminds me...we need to get swords
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
