this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
