A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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