First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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