Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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