Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
