like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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