You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
