Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
