living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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