Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
