Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
